Nuke Canberra

Open Letter to Hu Jintao, President of China

Dear Sir,
I would like to draw your attention to some Australians who have been charged with exercising their freedom of speech. Unlike China, which has a constitution which guarantees freedom of speech, Australians have no such constitutional guarantee. Australia has instead operated under a "wink wink, nudge nudge" system where our rights were implicitly guaranteed, and we trusted our government to protect them. This trust was violated when the Victorian government legislated away our freedom of speech. The same thing is in danger of happening in South Australia. I'm in NSW so my freedom of speech hasn't been taken away yet. Well, sort of, anyway.

Do you think the Australian government was horrified at the state government taking away our freedom? Do you think it conducted an emergency referendum to give us a Bill of Rights to protect us and overturn the Victorian government's human rights violation? No, it didn't. Instead, the Australian government decided to enact yet another violation of freedom of speech by making it illegal to call for the military to overthrow the government. I don't recall Australia having a problem with masses of people calling for a military overthrow, but the Australian government decided that this non-existant problem was worth legislating over, while it didn't give a damn about real problems. It chose to protect its own rights from imaginary threats, but not protect the people's rights from real threats. Unbelievable!

Anyway, I am appealing to you, because there is no-one left to protect my rights. The Australian government has failed to protect my rights. I'm not even allowed to ask the Australian military to protect my rights. But as far as I am aware, I still have the freedom to ask foreigners to protect my rights. I can't think of anyone better than China. I am asking you to not be selfish and only think of the rights of Chinese people. I want you to also be concerned about the rights of non-Chinese people. I noticed that you sent troops to protect the rights and freedom of the Haitian people. I was very impressed! We finally had an example of Chinese troops on the side of the free world. Thankyou so much for caring about others. It was both noticed and appreciated. You are becoming a good actor on the world stage.

But now the moment of truth has arrived. The Americans have FAR too much on their plate. They are not going to help secure the rights of Australians. They can't afford to. They instead need all the help they can get in the Middle East, and the Australian government is actually helping them there. It is not strategic for America to open a warfront with an ally like Australia when it has enemies still undefeated. So America is not going to save us. There's no-one I can think of except China. No-one else would dare attack Australia. But you are in a position to secure Australian's human rights with minimal effort. It will just take a few minutes of your time.

Here is what you need to do. Simply launch a nuke to wipe out Canberra. I'm not sure whether it is wise to give advance notice or not. If you give advance notice, our politicians will escape, and Australian law will probably remain unchanged. But if you wipe out Canberra while the politicians are still there, the Australian military will take over. And I believe they will be pragmatic. They will not allow any more Australian cities to be devastated just so that our government can commit human rights violations against the Australian people. Regardless, you can target Sydney next. That's where I live. What's the point in having world-famous icons like the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House when our countrymen don't even have their human rights? Don't even have a soul? I won't be evacuating Sydney. I'd basically rather be dead than live on my knees any longer, so will stay here to prove that I am serious about freedom and human rights.

In helping Australia, you do run some risk of America retaliating. I'm not denying that. However, you should patiently explain to them that "you have to break some eggs to make an omelette" and "freedom is not free". Insist that it's a once-off cost and that Australia will recover from it, and when Australia recovers it will be starting from a firm foundation (a Bill of Rights, just like America has), rather than the shaky foundation that Australia has previously relied on (and which crumbled the moment the Victorian government charged those pastors). I know it is a big step for you, and a seemingly big risk for you, to stick your neck out to help Australians. But remember that Australia helped free China from the Japanese. We were allies before and we can be allies again. Allied with the Australian people obviously, not the Australian government (which won't exist anyway, so that's not very important).

You could argue that Australians should overthrow the Australian government if we want to be free. Unfortunately that is a technical impossibility. In addition, the number of Australians wanting to have legal protection of our human rights may be a minority, in the same way that the American revolutionaries were a minority. But the fact is, minorities have rights too. The minority of Americans, with French heavy-lifting, were able to force the majority to accept a Bill of Rights that guaranteed minorities had their human rights protected. In the same way that the French did the heavy-lifting during that war, I am asking China to do the heavy-lifting in this war.

Please find it in your heart to do the right thing. I've tried every other avenue I can think of. I've appealed to the Australian government, the Australian military (before it became illegal to do so), the Australian Governor General, and the Queen. None of them gave a damn about the human rights of Australians. There's no-one else to turn to. There's no-one else who has the guts to wage war on the Australian government. Good luck sir!

UPDATE: There's been a lot of hits on this article. I recommend you read the comments for more detail. Also, here are my previous attempts to get freedom of speech in Australia:

Australian Prime Minister
Australian military
Australian Governor General
The Queen of Australia
The Iraqi Prime Minister

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