Australian SAS - the Killer Rabbit

Open Letter to Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia

Dear Julia,

I am writing to you on a matter of utmost importance. Please do not ignore this letter, as it is a matter of life and death.

The Libyan people are still being slaughtered by Gaddafi's goons. I had expected that the brave Libyan rebels could win the day purely by the addition of western air power. I was expecting a repeat of Afghanistan 2001. Unfortunately I was wrong. I want to correct my mistake as soon as possible and not have any more deaths on my conscience from encouraging the rebels to rise up and ask for air support if it is ultimately futile and ends with Gaddafi seeking a truly terrible revenge. I am sure you feel the same way, because you, like me, are a true blue Australian. The Rats of Tobruk are not just legend, but our blood bond. We are the true Defenders of the Free World, of which Libya is now about to be an eternal member of, and I'm sure they will defend freedom to the last drop of their blood too. You will not turn your back on our Libyan allies. You would rather die than see them fail, as would I.

Neither of us wanted to live in a world where a cruel dictator like Gaddafi can enslave a population for 42 years. But Australians are cunning. We didn't give our hand away. At a personal level we let everyone know that we wanted to be their friend, for we are truly a friendly people, as anyone who has ever actually met and talked in depth to an Australian can attest to. We were also spared the "imperialist" charge that hit the US and the UK as part of the Soviet psyops. For we are an ex-colony nation ourselves. We failed to shake off our colonial rulers at the Eureka stockade, but we eventually succeeded when the colonial ruler became decent enough to let the free-spirited Australians go free. After all, there is a saying - if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

You may or may not be aware that the Australian SAS were sent into Iraq to win the entire war, to reduce the number of American nancy-boys who got hurt. The yanks turned up to air bases with a stunned look on their face wondering where all the Saddam loyalists had gone. They had already been dealt with by the Australian SAS who had won the entire war while the yanks were still complaining about their MREs not containing enough cookies. Of course, since we are a magnamious people, we let the yanks take all the credit for what our boys did, but facts are facts.

Due to the disorganized nature of the Libyan resistance, they need the Australian SAS "killer rabbit" punch to be applied again. Please immediately send the Australian SAS into action in the sands of Libya. Do NOT, repeat NOT wait for UN authorization, as this is a matter of life-or-death and the UN is a talkfest specifically set up to preserve the horrific status quo. Also, do not worry about the fact that x% of Libyans will lie and call this an occupation force. Most Libyans are decent people and I consider them to be honorary Australians. Just as brave. Just as beautiful. These people are our natural allies. Also, our troops - same as in Iraq - should be in and out in a matter of days. We are the true Ninjas of the 21st century. Unseen. Unheard. There will be no chance of them being called occupation forces. By the time anyone even realises that Gaddafi's head is now on a pike, they'll be gone. And just like with the yanks in Iraq, the Australian SAS will take zero credit for its participation in the war, and the Libyan rebels will have their day in the sun, as they are the only force that is seen charging into Tripoli.

I had an interesting conversation with my pommy grandfather once. I asked him what Australian soldiers were like. He said that they could be problematic if they didn't have the right man in charge of them, as they were too individualistic, and when you're relying on someone to do a job, that is unacceptable. I asked him who the right man was to put in charge of them. His reply was "Someone who was as good as them - or better! Put someone like that in charge of them and they'll follow him to Hell and back". Julia, in today's world, that man is you. I saw that Wilkie slimebag call you a satrep when you had the guts to stick up for our seppo mates the other day. Fuck him, Julia. Do not let slimebag socialist traitors dictate your actions just because they have near-total control of the media. You can be sure I didn't clap him when I saw him at Sydney's townhall meeting the other day.

Do not let me down, Julia. I know you ignored my previous letters because you knew our independent ground forces would be needed at this point in world history, and reluctantly held back our aircraft while saying the right words. Thankyou for that Julia. Thankyou so much. I will even vote for you at the next elections because you held our forces back so that they could be sent in now. I look forward to seeing tomorrow's news, Julia, I truly do. Godspeed Australian soldiers. Godspeed the finest fighting men that this Earth has ever unleashed. I love you all (in a non-sexual way - since the Australian military is not and will never be a place for social experiments unlike certain pussy militaries that shall remain nameless to avoid any further embarassment).

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