Dash of the Australians

Open letter to John Key, Prime Minister-elect of New Zealand

Dear Sir, congratulations on your apparent victory, a bright light in the world today. With the right-wing losing control of the armed forces in both Australia and the US, let's see if the NZer's famed "dash of the Australians combined with the meticulous professionalism of the British" holds true.

You presumably know the stakes. Complete and utter victory in Iraq, just as it was in South Vietnam. And with a racist US president-elect determined to not see brown people in other countries have the same rights he has, presumably so that he has brown suffering in the world which he can "inherit" without the actual discomfort of being locked up in a gulag or having his own tongue cut out. Still, it could be worse. He could be like Foddy, Bruno and buh who get their rocks off at night thinking of the absolute power that a man like Saddam had. Without a real example for them to see, they don't get the same high. That's the REAL REASON (TM) that these slimy pricks opposed the liberation of brown people. But I digress.

As you probably know, Bush is built from the same stuff as Osama Bin Laden himself. Only instead of being a racist, or much of a religious bigot, he's a nationalist. Therefore, he doesn't see this struggle in terms of good vs bad or anti-religious bigots vs religious bigots. He just sees either America involved, or American not involved. And if America pulls out of Iraq, who gives a damn? That's America's decision, as if only American opinion matters.

Anyway, I know you don't have much of a military left today, but you don't need much to maintain victory in Iraq. All you need to be able to do is put down military coups by being able to shoot down any Iraqi planes that are not loyal to the elected government. And to do that, all you need is better air-to-air missiles than the Iraqi Air Force has. And Bush will be happy to sell you those.

So there you have it, sir. Get some missiles, send your entire military into Iraq, and don't let Obama deliberately throw this victory to spite Bush. Get the missiles now while you can. America will be lost as a true ally of the free world in a couple of months and the free world will have to tread water waiting for the return of our heavyweight champion.

You can probably organize some right-wing Europeans too. You'll have to do some arm-twisting, but Germany can provide you with a lot of muscle. They have a right-wing government also, that won't laugh at the Iraqis having their tongues cut out just because they've got the wrong skin colour. You can probably coax the British too. Stress the fact that pound for pound, you contributed more blood to WWI than any other Anglophone country and that you're calling in every favour to keep Iraq secure. I know there's not a lot out there to work with, but try your best. BTW, when I read the wonderful news the first thing that came to my mind was whether I should migrate to New Zealand while riding out the racist regime that came to power in Australia. But that would be like expecting 27 million Iraqis to migrate while living under Saddam's tyranny. It's the wrong solution to the problem. We need people to work within the regime to get rid of the (mostly anti-white) racism prevalent in so many western societies.

Good luck. And let's hope you're a better right-winger than both Bush and Howard, who both let me down.

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