Anti-Subjugator

Why did I declare myself to be God? Because there seems to be no other choice. My message is not getting out simply by logic alone. I was forced to pull out all stops to bring an end to the human rights abuses as quickly as possible. I believe that if I were widely accepted as God, most of the remaining wars would not need to be fought. So let me state my case. First of all, I want to tell you the model of the universe that I believe is most likely. I believe that this entire universe is a Virtual Reality computer simulation which I chose to run. ie the universe is here for my entertainment. It is probably only a few decades old. All the history and human memory are part of the computer simulation. Since I chose to run this software, I am God. But there is an administrator who I call the Environment Controller who intervenes as necessary. I think the Environment Controller is another part of me.

I grew up with authoritarian parents, who basically demanded that I goose-step to their dictates or face corporal punishment. If I were playing with a ball, they would say "stop playing with the ball and get in the car", expecting me to be as obedient as the family dog. I instead always bounced the ball one more time, refusing to be treated like a dog, and I would subsequently get beaten. At the time I didn't have the words to describe this. But after 37 years, I finally came up with the definition of who I was - I FIGHT SUBJUGATION. My parents were trying to subjugate me. This is part of human nature. Although I hated this at the time, and swore I'd never speak to them again as soon as I turned 18 and got human rights, I don't actually blame my parents anymore. Why? Because I believe that I DELIBERATELY chose these people as parents because I DELIBERATELY wanted to turn myself into an anti-subjugator, so that I would fight for the human rights of others who are languishing under a subjugating government, as the Eastern Europeans were.

During my childhood, I was constantly being picked on by other kids. I couldn't understand why they were doing this, while still calling themselves Christian. There was something seriously wrong with the way the bible was being taught if it kept producing monsters intent on mindless violence. I used to endure a lot of suffering at the hands of others before I resorted to violence myself in order to fix the problem. I didn't have the words for it at the time, but these people were naturally trying to subjugate me. No-one had ever taught them "fight subjugation". I wish I had the words "stop trying to subjugate me" and that they had been taught the meaning of that from the bible etc.

Although I had been raised as a Christian, when I went to Fiji at the age of about 12, I became an atheist. I saw no evidence of a God, especially one looking after me. Again, I believe this was deliberate. I wanted myself to get the feeling of being all alone with no-one looking out for my rights. I instead started looking out for other people's rights. I wished I could use the western armies to liberate Eastern Europe so that we could find out if they REALLY wanted communism or not. Basically I wanted to free the hostages. I wrote to the USSR asking what they were doing in Afghanistan, and received a whole lot of propaganda back.

I was watching my watch as I turned 18. Counting the seconds to when I would get my human rights. I jumped for joy when I got them. I wanted everyone in the world to have that same feeling of freedom. But how could I get it implemented? The oppressed people were still being held captive by the USSR, protected by nukes. In the meantime I set about trying to protect myself economically, so that I could be in a strong position to protect others. As soon as I figured out the best way to protect others! Australians were already protected - we have social security so that no-one fears starving to death. So the focus of my attention was the rest of the world. I realised that the maximum benefit would come from toppling dictators. Because then the resources of that country would stop being squandered on a dictator and instead be distributed amongst the people.

When China had the Tianamen Square massacre, for the first (and only) time in my life, there was a protest that I wanted to attend - against the Chinese embassy in Sydney. Then the unthinkable happened - the USSR collapsed. What joy that was! And for the first time in my life I found a charity that I actually wanted to donate to. The Red Cross had a Romanian appeal after the Romanians threw off their dictatorship. I figured if the Romanians were willing to put their life on the line for freedom, that I could at least help pay for the bandages for the wounded. Then Desert Storm came. I had hoped that the Russians would have joined us and establish the New World Order that Bush talked about. Unfortunately, there was something in the Russian psyche that was preventing them from joining us.

While I was waiting for Russia to calm down, I was busy tackling a different problem - Microsoft's monopoly. I led by example, writing public domain code so that commercial enterprises could pick it up and polish it off, as described here. I even created my own operating system, PDOS. Unfortunately, most people preferred to implement the GNU Virus Licence which is an attempt at something akin to communism - restricting the ability of businesses to pick up the code and fix it in a manner that allows them to make a profit.

Meanwhile, back on the security front, I cheered as NATO liberated Kosovo from communist dictatorship, and then as Serbia itself threw off its shackles. Basically I was overjoyed whenever the western military went into action. It makes the world a better place - ending state-slavery. I assumed that most Australians felt the same way, as the vibes I received from my workmates during Desert Storm were along the lines of "Up and at 'em boys". There was bipartisan support and the polls showed something like 90% in favour, even for our own troops to be used. There was only one dissenting voice, from an independent who represented my electorate (and I voted for him!). I rang him up and complained that he wasn't representing our electorate and I never voted for him again.

It wasn't until Operation Iraqi Freedom that I saw something was wrong with Australia. We didn't get bipartisan support for the action, and the left-wing were genuinely up in arms about it. I devoted my life to trying to figure out "what went wrong". Why weren't 90% of Australians behind ending state-slavery in Iraq? To answer this, required me to find out what my underlying ideology was that was different from theirs. I teased this out in the Iraqi blogs, as I was able to question the whole world on where they stood on the use of calculated violence to end holocausts. I started off doing this surreptiously, because I wanted to see what the "free market" would bring up in the comments section. I probed the Iraqi bloggers by email so as to not disturb the comments. The commenters were good, but they were all missing the point. The main point being that under Saddam there was INSITUTIONALIZED RAPE. Opposition to the liberation meant the unconscionable fact of supporting the status quo - ie supporting the indefinite continuation of the rape of women instead of going to their rescue. I finally entered the public arena on 2004-03-23, on "The Mesopotomian". As an Australian atheist, I was able to take pressure off the poor American Christians who kept on getting accused of spreading "Christian values" by force of arms. But as an atheist, I could say that it wasn't Christian values being exported, it was something else. Something I shared in common with both American Christians and Iraqi Muslims. But could I isolate that common ideology? My final answer, after 37 years of searching, happened to come out in a message on the same Iraqi blog (even though this was not the blog that I frequented the most), numbered 666, and the date was 2004-09-11, ie the 3-year anniversary of 9/11. I was still an atheist at the time, and I was proud that it was an atheist that had managed to figure out the core ideology. By the way, this was the second time I had found somewhere worthwhile to donate money - the Iraqi blogs. Bringing a pro-liberation message to the world. And supporting the blogger-created "Iraq Pro-Democracy Party".

Shortly after I posted that crucially-important message, the unthinkable happened. God (or who I now call "The Environment Controller"), contacted me, shattering my entire worldview in an instant. There were 4 separate things that happened during this contact (the contact lasted about 2 days):

1. My brain was changed to introduce a feeling of enormous love - the feeling that God was protecting me.

2. I had a feeling that any decisions I made were being made safely, ie I wasn't alone in making them.

3. Long chains of logic were given to me, explaining various things. E.g. one chain walked me back through my life, explaining how the things I did wrong were due to faulty logic or the influence of my genes. Another logic chain suggested that we were already living in Heaven, and I was actually an aborted baby.

4. The Environment Controller (EC) demonstrated that he could physically control my body.

I was overwhelmed by this, especially because one of the logic chains was that there was a butterfly effect and that everything I was doing wrong was causing others to suffer. I went to the hospital to be sedated. Instead, I was incarcerated into a sort of mental ward. I was allowed out after a couple of weeks. One of the things the EC had told me was that if I didn't think the bible was clear or accurate, I should write my own. So I did. I then started trying to "sell" my new religion. My new religion was actually a sect of Islam, because I was mainly trying to save the Muslims from their current nihilistic path. Ali Fadhil, one of the Iraqi bloggers, had told me about this sect.

Then in July 2005, I was unable to concentrate at work because the only thing coursing through my mind was freedom. That is when I decided to announce that I was God, to try to shake things up. I was having trouble sleeping again. I went to see the doctor again, and they decided to incarcerate me again! I was sitting at the doctor's, and then realised that instead of sitting there waiting to be incarcerated, I should make a run for it and try to seek help via my blog. I ran to my car, and the police had just arrived and chased me. I managed to get into my car and lock the doors before they stopped me, and I took off in a hurry and managed to escape. But they caught me along the road. I had no choice but to surrender and unlock the door. They dragged me from my car, pushed me down onto the road, and then seemed to put all their weight on my head, scratching my face on the road. But after the handcuffs were on, they took the weight off my head. I was sent to the same mental ward again. It was to be another 2 weeks before I was finally able to be free again, and even then it was on condition that I not mention that I am God.

So, what is the evidence that I am God? Well firstly, you can judge by my life. I have spent my whole life trying to bring freedom to people, or when I was unable to do that, then I was trying to improve humanity by leveraging into the potential of public domain source code. Was there ever a time in my life when I wasn't trying to fix this world instead of waiting for the next one? I don't think so. As far as I can tell I have taken an optimal path through life, caring about other people's human rights. The poor Iraqi women who were being raped by their own government probably thought that God was ignoring their plight. That no-one cared about them. Well, it's not true. I was caring about them the whole time. I spend ALL my time working on geostrategy - trying to find a way to break through and rescue the oppressed. In fact I was unaware that others weren't doing the exact same thing. Too many people were surprised that I had wanted to free the oppressed even as a child. But in this universe I am only armed with my brain and my heart. You need to look hard if you want to see who I am.

Secondly, you can see my crucial message 666 on 9/11. It's too much of a coincidence that my whole life of searching should come to a climax on that date with that message number. Then there's the unverifiable stuff. The most important of the unverifiable stuff is the fact that I don't have "love of God" switched on in my brain. Why? Because I'm not meant to. Because I am God. I'm not meant to feel love of God, I'm meant to be showing others that I love them and that I am looking out for them.

Another thing I'd like to draw attention to is the "judgement" everyone was waiting for. You can find that here. Although in addition to that I would like to say that the US's actions since 9/11 have been exemplary, especially when the US soldiers kneeled down and then retreated when faced with an angry mob of UNARMED Iraqis in Najaf. It made me cry.

And another thing. If I were able to definitely prove that I was God, you would lose your freedom. To be totally free you have to believe that there is either no god, or that God doesn't sit in judgement. That way you have to make up your own rules about what is right and what is wrong. Which is exactly what I want. I don't want to be a dictator. However, while not proof, there is some EVIDENCE that may whet your appetite.

One of the revelations that was given to me was "If you don't like the bible - write your own!". This is what I have done with Mu'tazilah. This is another reason why I think that the Environment Controller has passed the reins to me. It is me, not the EC, that is the "real" god.

UPDATE: More evidence. What do you expect my highest priority would be at this point in time? Ending institutionalized rape in Iran now that Mr Bush et al have ended institutionalized rape in Iraq? Bingo.

UPDATE 2: Note that it is only a theory that I am God. Since I am not omniscient or omnipresent myself, I may just be a prophet - the second coming of Jesus if you will.