Serbian Shakedown

Open letter to Vojislav Kostunica, Prime Minister of Serbia.

Dear Sir, I saw with my own eyes the horror of the US supporting the annexation of your territory, in direct violation of UN Security Council Resolution 1244, which it is a signatory to and that your government is now split over how to respond.

First of all, let me tell you that I was 100% in favour of NATO military action in 1999 and my biggest disappointment was that Australia wasn't allowed to join in the bombing of Milosevic's dictatorship. I'm directly opposed to dictatorships who abuse human rights, and when an opportunity arises to do something about it, I will seize it with both hands. However, Serbia has totally changed since then, and now has a wonderful liberal democracy. As such, I wish to be allied with Serbia. Kosovo meanwhile is a province full of racist religious bigots which needs a lot of work in order to reach the rest of Serbia's standards.

As per UN SC 1244, Kosovo was meant to remain part of Serbia and Serbian forces were meant to be deployed:

"Confirms that after the withdrawal an agreed number of Yugoslav and
Serb military and police personnel will be permitted to return to Kosovo to
perform the functions in accordance with annex 2;"

"6. After withdrawal, an agreed number of Yugoslav and Serbian personnel
will be permitted to return to perform the following functions:
- Liaison with the international civil mission and the international
security presence;
- Marking/clearing minefields;
- Maintaining a presence at Serb patrimonial sites;
- Maintaining a presence at key border crossings."

Ok, you are now faced with the challenge of securing your territorial rights in the presence of a malicious and untrustworthy USA. If you stay outside of Kosovo you will lose part of your territory. You must reenter your territory as you are well within your rights to do.

You now face a tough question as to whether to send tanks down or just soldiers with rifles or unarmed soldiers. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure which option is best. What I do know is that you have zero chance at all of beating the NATO forces militarily, but the goal is not to fight them directly, but merely to embarass them into standing aside. It's a bit like Turkey's recent invasion of Iraq. The US is NOT going to go to war with Turkey in order to protect a few Kurdish terrorists.

Do you remember when the US forces were confronted in Najaf with some very irate UNARMED civilians? What did they do? They RETREATED. The US military wants to avoid killing unarmed civilians as much as possible. You need to find something along those lines, where the US people and military will simply refuse to fight against what is not much more than a peaceful political protest. If you shoot at them, you will immediately lose. But simply walking along smiling and waving will completely destroy the US, as they will be seen to be the aggressors and that is one thing they don't want to be (despite any propaganda you may have heard or generated to the contrary).

So what you need is to invite the international media to watch your troops, probably unarmed but in uniform, cross the border into the Kosovo province and get greeted by various people (ie ethnic Serbs since you can't expect much from racist ethnic Albanians). You can bring a selection of Serb refugees with you, and they can tell their stories about how the racist Albanians kicked them out and the religiously-bigotted Muslims burned down their churches etc and that they want the Serbian military to protect them so that they can return.

The trouble with your soldiers being unarmed is that they become targets for Kosovar terrorists. However, that will only be a problem if you move outside the Serb-majority areas. In addition, the ethnic Serb civilians (in Kosovo) probably have arms of their own, and will probably be willing to walk alongside your soldiers to protect them from that. Yes, I know civilians protecting soldiers sounds strange, but the goal is to create a media circus to embarass America, not to actually fight. You can hopefully avoid the logistics problem by getting food from the ethnic Serbs. It'll be a long walk, as the Americans will block off the roads, but your soldiers should eventually make it to the border posts that they are meant to be guarding, and to the sites that they are meant to be protecting.

I cannot guarantee this will work, but at least you can say YOU TRIED. Some of your soldiers may be killed, but more likely some will be arrested by the US military. You need to be prepared for this, but make it clear at all times that peaceful Serb soldiers attempting to fulfill their duties under UNSC 1244 on their own damn territory are being arrested by "mean" Americans. Some of your soldiers being killed will also increase the media attention, which is the thing you actually need.

We live in a different world, and you need a different sort of war. I am part of the Anglophone culture so I more-or-less understand which buttons to press. You need to invoke the introspection inherenent in our culture, even if it seems alien to you. Ask questions like "how would you feel about China annexing California?". Make them answer these questions. Ask them why they feel the need to violate UN Security Council 1244 which they are in fact a signatory to. Ask them if it is fair that Serb forces withdrew from Kosovo without forcing the US into a ground war, purely because they trusted America to fulfill its obligations under UNSCR 1244 and that the last thing you expected was America to violate its own treaties. Even though there was historical precedent with the betrayal of the Indians (native Americans). But you genuinely thought that America had moved beyond that. (Hell, so did I - I really didn't expect America to violate that resolution - which is why I can't guarantee anything - America is not behaving as I would expect a rational moral actor to behave).

For more information about the American mindset, read this. You need to tap into that genuine desire to do good and extreme introspection. It's called "PC Paradigm" on the "Second Draft" website. That's what you need to spend time exploiting. Explain how you took the first step by withdrawing from Kosovo based on a promise from America, and you were hoping that America would reciprocate. And how sad you felt when America failed to reciprocate as expected. That you tried so hard to be nice, but America didn't respond. It'll kill them. Truly kill them.

If your soldiers get shot by Kosovar terrorists, while deep inside Kosovo, you should be able to reinforce by helicopter and may well be able to drive tanks down. It's unclear how it will unfold. But at least you're in with a chance. Please don't let the arsehole Americans steal your territory to give to a bunch of religiously-bigotted Muslims. Even though I am a Muslim myself, I am in the Mu'tazilah sect and would rather be surrounded by non-religious-bigotted Christians (as I am in Australia) than religious-bigotted Muslims. Any Muslim who is a religious bigot and thinks that non-Muslims are inferior and don't go to Heaven etc etc are my mortal enemy and I wish to be your ally.

Good luck sir. Please take action. It's your country, and you have a responsibility to protect your citizens who are not asking for anything more than a government that is more interested in protecting minority human rights than it is in creating yet another religiously-bigotted ("Islamic") state. I'm also happy to volunteer to be an "international human shield" if you require one to protect your troops from Kosovar terrorists. It would be an honour to protect a beautiful liberal democracy like Serbia. By the way, welcome to the free world, and thanks so much for making the dream of a free Serbia a reality!

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